Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday, dear Face Hair
Happy Birthday to you!
Today my beard is three weeks old. I guess, in beard life, that qualifies as a birthday. I thought about smearing a cupcake on the beard to celebrate but decided that even I am not that weird. Instead, I gave it a good brushing. It sighed contentedly and settled down on my chin to nap.
Last night, I was watching the game and I got cold so I put a hoodie on over my Pens shirt. Right after that, the Habs scored a goal to tie the game. I thought, "Man, that was a bad break." A few miliseconds later, they scored again and I realized what caused this horrible event. I took off the hoodie and their scoring stopped. And that chain of events got me thinking. We all know there are football gods who cause your team to lose if you order stromboli instead of pizza, sit in the wrong chairs or forget to put on your lucky Bettis jersey. Why football gods care where I sit, what I eat or wear is beyond me. They invented the Curse of the Terrible Towel, though, so I don't mess with them.
There must be hockey gods, too, guiding the fates of teams around the NHL. Maybe they are just football gods who needed work in the off season. Case in point: My boss is a Caps fan. Voluntarily. Go figure. He is also a Cowboys fan and is thrilled that they finally won their first playoff since 1823. The point is that he follows teams that lose badly in the post-season. His March Madness bracket was not a pretty sight. I think he is a closet Phillip Rivers fan. He actually believes O-retch-kin is a better player than Sid.
After the Caps lost in a horribly embarrassing, history making way, I asked my boss if he wanted to jump on the Penguins bandwagon. He said he would root for anyone before the Pens, so he decided he would become a Red Wings fan. Bam! The Red Wings lost three in a row. I work with some pretty smart people who recognized the trend and began a campaign to get him to root for the Pens so they would lose. I confidently claimed the hockey gods were too smart to fall for that old trick. As I left work, the boss teased that he was going to give up on the Wings and cheers for the Pens. And, of course, the Red Wings win and the Pens lose.
So.......either the hockey gods are dumb as stumps or they are real smartasses. Just in case, though, let me say this: Dear hockey gods, HE WAS JOKING! HE HATES THE PENS! PLEASE LET US WIN AGAIN! I'll even pull out my old Back-to-Back Stanley Cup shirt, I swear! I'll bet the hockey gods would love that.
Enough foolin' around! Get on over to http://www.beardathon.com/ and pledge my beard!
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