I'm back! Okay, I have even less free time than before but I'll try to write regularly. So let's get to it!
There are many things I don’t understand about the whole Joe Paterno hysteria.
1. The Freeh Report was not an investigation but a summary of investigation. He reviewed available information and drew conclusions from that. To the best of my knowledge, there were no interviews or investigative actions. The Paterno family says this report is flawed and incomplete. I agree.
2. Everyone is coming out to bash Paterno. This is the most amazing thing to me. Everyone has to say how he should have acted or how THEY would have acted. Let’s remember that whole “20/20 hindsight” thing. I used to say that, if somebody tried to stick a gun in my face, I would smack it aside and beat the crap out of the guy. Yeah, I was young and stupid. And the first time I actually had a gun stuck in my face, I meekly handed over everything I had. The point is that, unless you have been through a similar situation, with a really tough moral call, don’t tell me how you would have done better.
3. Wasn’t Sandusky the actual criminal here? I hope Sandusky is in prison, and in general population for the rest of his life. I hope the rest of his life is very painful. Because he is the one who was convicted. Shouldn’t we have an actual trial before we convict the others?
4. Didn’t Paterno report the incident? Didn’t Spanier say that Paterno was the least culpable? Sure, he should have done more. I believe the guilt that he did not do more to help those kids is what killed him. But he did do something. Why has everyone forgotten that? Why are we rushing to take down statues?
Before you cite homerism, I am a Penn State grad but not a Penn State fan. I am also raising my second set of kids and take child abuse at least as seriously as anyone else. It just irks the hell out of me that we are demonizing the easy target. Paterno did wrong. We’ll never know why he made the mistakes he made. I still say that we need concrete proof before we condemn the guy.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Day The Mojo Died
I’m back. Yes, I am almost over the heartbreak of the Super Bowl and I am not quite suicidal anymore. It has been a very bad three months for us Pittsburgh fans. Huh? Three months, you say? The Super Bowl loss was a mere seven weeks, one day, 23 hours, 17 minutes and 47 seconds ago. What is this three months of which you speak? Let me tell you about the day it all went bad. The day the Mojo died.
January 1, 2011, started off as a wonderful day. We just spent a great week with the grandkids and settled down to watch the Penguins stomp on the hapless, hated Crapitals. This game was going to be great. The Pens were streaking; the Craps were sliding; the HBO series made our guys look unbeatable.
I guess Bugs Bunny was right. We should have turned left in Albuquerque which, in retrospect is kind of weird, because we really were in Albuquerque. It seems the hockey gods got together with the football gods and decided this Roger Goodell guy might be onto something. It was time to hate on Pittsburgh. Sports in the Burgh suddenly absorbed one hit after another on the way to catastophy.
Bam! The Pens stink out the joint in the Winter Classic and get their pucks handed to them.
Bam! Sid the Kid, Savior of the City, takes two savage hits to the head and is out indefinitely.
Bam! Geno Malkin goes out for the season with an injury.
Bam! Peter King writes some dumbass story about Goodell, skewers Ben, gets it wrong, tries to apologize but the damage is done.
Bam! The Bus gets left behind in the Hall of Fame Top Ten voting.
Bam! Dermontti Dawson gets left out of the HOF Top Five.
Bam! No Steelers in the Hall of Fame this year. How can that be?
Bam! The Pens are in freefall and topple out of first place with a rash of injuries and suspensions.
Bam! The Steelers get outplayed (DAMN IT! AARRGGHH!!) by the Packers.
Bam! We have to pretend to be magnanimous in defeat (DAMN IT! AARRGGHH!!) to the Packer fans.
Bam! Coaches get hired and we have to put up with another damn Harbaugh in the league.
Bam! The NFL season could be over before it starts.
Bam! Hines Ward is revealed as a contestant on “Dancing With The Stars.” Yeah, I’ll watch and even vote for the guy but I won’t like it.
Bam! Spring training opens and the Pirates prepare to tear out our hearts. Again. For the nineteeth year in a row. Why don’t you use a spoon this time, you bastards, and make it REALLY hurt?
Maybe I am a little further from recovery than I thought.
Fortunately for us all, there is a shining, bright spot in the gloom. The hockey gods stepped out for a beer and the Pens turned around their game in time to make the playoffs for the 168th consecutive season. That, of course, is a rough estimate as I did not actually do research for this bit. And, with the playoffs, comes Beard-A-Thon! This is it, boys and girls. This is the year I win it all and turn around this blight on our city.
Here is the deal. Hockey fans grow a playoff beard to support their favorite teams. As long as their team stays in the playoffs, the fans keep growing their beards. The masses (that’s you, in case you weren’t paying attention) pledge support for their favorite beard (like mine, for example) and make donations on the official site. Last year, Penguin donations went to the Mario Lemieux Foundation. (Seriously, you would say no to Mario? What kind of person are you?) When the best beard (say, mine, for example) wins by collecting the most pledges, the winner (i.e., me) gets tons of cool swag like jerseys, signed pucks and a cup of ice from the Igloo. If the winner is exceedingly cool (why, yes I am, thank you) he will auction off all of the cool swag and give that money to Mario's foundation.
So this, my friends, is the road to redemption. On March 27, 2011, the Penguins clinched a playoff berth and I stopped shaving. I will post updates, photos, corporate sponsorships, Aflac duck searches and the occasional super model party picture (SO very unlikely) on this page. Check back and help me Grow One For The Team!
January 1, 2011, started off as a wonderful day. We just spent a great week with the grandkids and settled down to watch the Penguins stomp on the hapless, hated Crapitals. This game was going to be great. The Pens were streaking; the Craps were sliding; the HBO series made our guys look unbeatable.
I guess Bugs Bunny was right. We should have turned left in Albuquerque which, in retrospect is kind of weird, because we really were in Albuquerque. It seems the hockey gods got together with the football gods and decided this Roger Goodell guy might be onto something. It was time to hate on Pittsburgh. Sports in the Burgh suddenly absorbed one hit after another on the way to catastophy.
Bam! The Pens stink out the joint in the Winter Classic and get their pucks handed to them.
Bam! Sid the Kid, Savior of the City, takes two savage hits to the head and is out indefinitely.
Bam! Geno Malkin goes out for the season with an injury.
Bam! Peter King writes some dumbass story about Goodell, skewers Ben, gets it wrong, tries to apologize but the damage is done.
Bam! The Bus gets left behind in the Hall of Fame Top Ten voting.
Bam! Dermontti Dawson gets left out of the HOF Top Five.
Bam! No Steelers in the Hall of Fame this year. How can that be?
Bam! The Pens are in freefall and topple out of first place with a rash of injuries and suspensions.
Bam! The Steelers get outplayed (DAMN IT! AARRGGHH!!) by the Packers.
Bam! We have to pretend to be magnanimous in defeat (DAMN IT! AARRGGHH!!) to the Packer fans.
Bam! Coaches get hired and we have to put up with another damn Harbaugh in the league.
Bam! The NFL season could be over before it starts.
Bam! Hines Ward is revealed as a contestant on “Dancing With The Stars.” Yeah, I’ll watch and even vote for the guy but I won’t like it.
Bam! Spring training opens and the Pirates prepare to tear out our hearts. Again. For the nineteeth year in a row. Why don’t you use a spoon this time, you bastards, and make it REALLY hurt?
Maybe I am a little further from recovery than I thought.
Fortunately for us all, there is a shining, bright spot in the gloom. The hockey gods stepped out for a beer and the Pens turned around their game in time to make the playoffs for the 168th consecutive season. That, of course, is a rough estimate as I did not actually do research for this bit. And, with the playoffs, comes Beard-A-Thon! This is it, boys and girls. This is the year I win it all and turn around this blight on our city.
Here is the deal. Hockey fans grow a playoff beard to support their favorite teams. As long as their team stays in the playoffs, the fans keep growing their beards. The masses (that’s you, in case you weren’t paying attention) pledge support for their favorite beard (like mine, for example) and make donations on the official site. Last year, Penguin donations went to the Mario Lemieux Foundation. (Seriously, you would say no to Mario? What kind of person are you?) When the best beard (say, mine, for example) wins by collecting the most pledges, the winner (i.e., me) gets tons of cool swag like jerseys, signed pucks and a cup of ice from the Igloo. If the winner is exceedingly cool (why, yes I am, thank you) he will auction off all of the cool swag and give that money to Mario's foundation.
So this, my friends, is the road to redemption. On March 27, 2011, the Penguins clinched a playoff berth and I stopped shaving. I will post updates, photos, corporate sponsorships, Aflac duck searches and the occasional super model party picture (SO very unlikely) on this page. Check back and help me Grow One For The Team!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Yet Another Letter to Roger Goodell
Yes, I know it will not change things. Yes, I know I have a highly inflated view of my own importance. Yes, I know there is small change Goodell will even see, let alone read my letter. I am still mailing it in the morning and posting it anywhere I can find a link. Here we go
Roger Goodell,
I refuse to use your title because that would imply a modicum of respect. I do not respect you. Your mismanagement is evident in so many aspects of the National Football League. You have shown yourself to be a very poor leader. I do not understand this. The principles of management are simple. They are not significantly different in a war zone or on a Boy Scout backpacking trip. Leading in business is very similar to leading a children’s sports team. I have done all of these effectively and can tell you the basic tenets do not change.
To begin, you have to define clear standards, then enforce those standards. Your attempts to do either are laughable. Your players do not clearly understand the rules of the game you manage. Your attempts to clarify the rules only created more confusion. You did not prepare your referees to enforce the changes you demanded, so their application of your rules is, therefore, arbitrary, subjective and prejudicial.
If you want loyalty from your people, you must be loyal to them. The people who work for you must know that they are a priority. Rules have to be rules, regardless of your last name or position. When you show preferential treatment to your special favorites, you promote dissension and disrespect among the rest.
If you expect honorable behavior, you must act honorably. This is the area where you really disgust me. Dan Rooney supported you, both publicly and vocally. Even when you fined him for criticizing your officials, he publicly supported you. When Ben Roethlisberger was accused and Art Rooney II said the team would abide by your decision, you took it as carte blanche to impose any punishment you saw fit. Because the team did not protest your ham-handed application of justice, you saw an opportunity to launch a discipline campaign, using one of their players as an example. You took advantage of the Rooney family honor because you know they would not publicly contradict your poor decisions.
All I ask is an even enforcement of the rules. You would not act against Al Davis when Coach Cable was accused and charged with assault. You dealt a minor slap to Robert Kraft when Coach Belichick threatened the integrity of the game. You ignored the allegations against an icon when Brett Favre was accused of sexual harassment and transmitting pornography. You fine aggressive players for legal hits and ignore those acts you defined as “egregious” simply because the offender is on a protected team. This was clear in the Pittsburgh – Buffalo game, 28 November 2010, when you validated a bad call against Harrison with a fine but did nothing to the players who piled on and injured Roethlisberger when he was already down. So much for your intent to promote player safety.
I only support fining a player like James Harrison if every other player is subjected to the same rules, the same scrutiny and the same enforcement. You may not feel you owe him a refund but you certainly owe him and the Rooney family an apology.
As I said, the tenets of management are simple. All you need to apply them is a brain and a spine. I am waiting for you to exhibit either.
With no respect whatsoever,
Tony Devlin
Lifelong Steeler fan
I already sent in my dollar to pay James Harrison’s bogus fines. The enclosed dollar is from a fan who does not even like the Steelers. He is a Chiefs fan who feels you are unjustly targeting a great player.
Roger Goodell,
I refuse to use your title because that would imply a modicum of respect. I do not respect you. Your mismanagement is evident in so many aspects of the National Football League. You have shown yourself to be a very poor leader. I do not understand this. The principles of management are simple. They are not significantly different in a war zone or on a Boy Scout backpacking trip. Leading in business is very similar to leading a children’s sports team. I have done all of these effectively and can tell you the basic tenets do not change.
To begin, you have to define clear standards, then enforce those standards. Your attempts to do either are laughable. Your players do not clearly understand the rules of the game you manage. Your attempts to clarify the rules only created more confusion. You did not prepare your referees to enforce the changes you demanded, so their application of your rules is, therefore, arbitrary, subjective and prejudicial.
If you want loyalty from your people, you must be loyal to them. The people who work for you must know that they are a priority. Rules have to be rules, regardless of your last name or position. When you show preferential treatment to your special favorites, you promote dissension and disrespect among the rest.
If you expect honorable behavior, you must act honorably. This is the area where you really disgust me. Dan Rooney supported you, both publicly and vocally. Even when you fined him for criticizing your officials, he publicly supported you. When Ben Roethlisberger was accused and Art Rooney II said the team would abide by your decision, you took it as carte blanche to impose any punishment you saw fit. Because the team did not protest your ham-handed application of justice, you saw an opportunity to launch a discipline campaign, using one of their players as an example. You took advantage of the Rooney family honor because you know they would not publicly contradict your poor decisions.
All I ask is an even enforcement of the rules. You would not act against Al Davis when Coach Cable was accused and charged with assault. You dealt a minor slap to Robert Kraft when Coach Belichick threatened the integrity of the game. You ignored the allegations against an icon when Brett Favre was accused of sexual harassment and transmitting pornography. You fine aggressive players for legal hits and ignore those acts you defined as “egregious” simply because the offender is on a protected team. This was clear in the Pittsburgh – Buffalo game, 28 November 2010, when you validated a bad call against Harrison with a fine but did nothing to the players who piled on and injured Roethlisberger when he was already down. So much for your intent to promote player safety.
I only support fining a player like James Harrison if every other player is subjected to the same rules, the same scrutiny and the same enforcement. You may not feel you owe him a refund but you certainly owe him and the Rooney family an apology.
As I said, the tenets of management are simple. All you need to apply them is a brain and a spine. I am waiting for you to exhibit either.
With no respect whatsoever,
Tony Devlin
Lifelong Steeler fan
I already sent in my dollar to pay James Harrison’s bogus fines. The enclosed dollar is from a fan who does not even like the Steelers. He is a Chiefs fan who feels you are unjustly targeting a great player.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Is Football Becoming a Sissy Sport?
This morning, I got to do one of my favorite things in the world. I have to warn you that it is very petty so don't think too badly of me. Let me set the stage: I drive to work through Baltimore. This used to be a lot more fun when I drove home through B-more, too. I leave the house at a completely uncivilized time and it is too dark to see all of the Steelers paraphernalia on my car. Driving home in daylight, I've had people flip me off for reasons other than my driving and a couple people have actually tried to force me off the road. So, yeah, I just love Balti-morons.
All this just makes my evil little pleasure all the more fun. I love to listen to Baltimore sports talk radio the day after the Ravens lose. I love the rationalization. If this had just happened; if that pass had not dropped; whatever. I am sure that fans of other teams can be whiny, too. There is even a very small possibility that one or two Steelers fans may whine about a loss. Nah! Such a world can't exist!
This morning, it was the refs fault that Matty Ice was able to drive the length of the field in less than a minute and find Roddy White in the end zone. Crappy calls allowed the Falcons to sustain the drive cause the refs ABSOLUTELY hate the Ravens. (Hmmm...questionable calls to sustain a drive, allowing marginal QB to find, say, TJ Houshmazilly in the end zone? Nope, couldn't be.) And, fortunately, the Ravens are on the side of the angels, as they have never benefitted from bad calls. Beating the Titans in the playoffs two years ago because the refs forgot to call that delay of game was simply an oversight, not a bad call. This went on for thirty minutes or so, till I got out of radio range, but cheered me up for the whole day.
I contend that, to be a champion, you have to beat the other team AND the refs. Those who remember the 2005 playoff game against the Colts know exactly what I am talking about. I was disgusted with how many blatant calls went against the Black and Gold. Sure, Peyton is a great quarterback who kept them in the game but he had significant help. I was convinced the script was already set and the Steelers were just upsetting the apple cart. We proved it again last week against the Bungles. Two horrendous calls in a row allowed Palmer to stay on the field and come within one reception of the upset. Casey Hampton's bogus Roughing the Passer call and the horrible Pass Interference call on Ike were particularly egregious. (Check it out! I used egregious, the hot new word this season, in a sentence! Yay, me!) The NFL came back with a mea culpa today.
So, what is the title about, you ask? Is the NFL really becoming a league for sissies? Are we getting ready to chug on over to Mamby-Pamby Land ? (Great GEICO commercial, by the way!) Well, the fact that Bart Scott still has a job leads me to think it is true. I don't pay attention to that puss bag anymore. Is he still whining about the Hines Ward hit from 83 years ago? Get over it, you girl.
Now, we could talk about the completely bogus $75K fine to James Harrison or we could focus on the Troy Polamalu comments but that would be taking the easy way out. The fact that the Commish does not fine The Hairy One for so blatantly criticizing the league is testimony in itself. I would prefer to focus on the comment of Ravens stud (?) Haloti Ngata. When explaining why his team got their butts handed to them in Atlanta, Ngata said, "“I don’t know if it was that we just played Sunday, but I was tired.” Another player agree and Ed Reed, at least, had the decency to be emabarrassed by the comments but are you serious? You get paid 14 gajillion dollars to play football and you're too tired to do your job? Did you happen to notice that the team who made you look so bad ALSO PLAYED ON SUNDAY?!?!?!? Oh, my sweet Aunt Mary! What's next? No Gatorade showers cause it stings the eyes? Maybe we should have cupcake parties on the sidelines after a win. I'll bring the drink boxes and orange slices to pass out at half time.
All this just makes my evil little pleasure all the more fun. I love to listen to Baltimore sports talk radio the day after the Ravens lose. I love the rationalization. If this had just happened; if that pass had not dropped; whatever. I am sure that fans of other teams can be whiny, too. There is even a very small possibility that one or two Steelers fans may whine about a loss. Nah! Such a world can't exist!
This morning, it was the refs fault that Matty Ice was able to drive the length of the field in less than a minute and find Roddy White in the end zone. Crappy calls allowed the Falcons to sustain the drive cause the refs ABSOLUTELY hate the Ravens. (Hmmm...questionable calls to sustain a drive, allowing marginal QB to find, say, TJ Houshmazilly in the end zone? Nope, couldn't be.) And, fortunately, the Ravens are on the side of the angels, as they have never benefitted from bad calls. Beating the Titans in the playoffs two years ago because the refs forgot to call that delay of game was simply an oversight, not a bad call. This went on for thirty minutes or so, till I got out of radio range, but cheered me up for the whole day.
I contend that, to be a champion, you have to beat the other team AND the refs. Those who remember the 2005 playoff game against the Colts know exactly what I am talking about. I was disgusted with how many blatant calls went against the Black and Gold. Sure, Peyton is a great quarterback who kept them in the game but he had significant help. I was convinced the script was already set and the Steelers were just upsetting the apple cart. We proved it again last week against the Bungles. Two horrendous calls in a row allowed Palmer to stay on the field and come within one reception of the upset. Casey Hampton's bogus Roughing the Passer call and the horrible Pass Interference call on Ike were particularly egregious. (Check it out! I used egregious, the hot new word this season, in a sentence! Yay, me!) The NFL came back with a mea culpa today.
So, what is the title about, you ask? Is the NFL really becoming a league for sissies? Are we getting ready to chug on over to Mamby-Pamby Land ? (Great GEICO commercial, by the way!) Well, the fact that Bart Scott still has a job leads me to think it is true. I don't pay attention to that puss bag anymore. Is he still whining about the Hines Ward hit from 83 years ago? Get over it, you girl.
Now, we could talk about the completely bogus $75K fine to James Harrison or we could focus on the Troy Polamalu comments but that would be taking the easy way out. The fact that the Commish does not fine The Hairy One for so blatantly criticizing the league is testimony in itself. I would prefer to focus on the comment of Ravens stud (?) Haloti Ngata. When explaining why his team got their butts handed to them in Atlanta, Ngata said, "“I don’t know if it was that we just played Sunday, but I was tired.” Another player agree and Ed Reed, at least, had the decency to be emabarrassed by the comments but are you serious? You get paid 14 gajillion dollars to play football and you're too tired to do your job? Did you happen to notice that the team who made you look so bad ALSO PLAYED ON SUNDAY?!?!?!? Oh, my sweet Aunt Mary! What's next? No Gatorade showers cause it stings the eyes? Maybe we should have cupcake parties on the sidelines after a win. I'll bring the drink boxes and orange slices to pass out at half time.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Perils of Homerliness
I was going over some of the week's football news. I had some free time with the Steelers on their bye week and, let's face it, cutting grass is not all that intellectually stimulating. I reflected on what a bunch of homers we have in the world of sports. Then I started thinking: we should break down and fully define a homer. What can I say? I was bored.
Before I begin, I have to state that I am a proud homer. I believe the Steelers are the best team in football, the Penguins are the best team in hockey and the Pirates are a team in baseball. I will defend the Big Doof until he either makes the Hall of Fame or is charged with something. In the first case, he would no longer need me coming to his defense. In the latter case, I would be happy to introduce him to his new friends on D Block. Even with my homerism, I thought this was really funny:
We all know that a basic homer is someone who really, and I mean really loves his or her sports team. Think Penn State fans or, inexplicably, Browns fans. Homers love their teams for better or for worse. In the case of Browns fans, for worser or for worst. Penn State gets absolutely lambasted by a good team. The next week they beat up on East Mumford Typing Academy and everyone talks about how the boys have turned a corner. This is the year Joepa gets another national title...until the Nittany Lions get their butts kicked again.
We see a lot of homerliness in the team blogs, naturally, and in the local news. I guess this is normal though, like in everything else, Philadelphia breaks the mold. Their homers kvetch at every opportunity. This past weekend, the Eagles travelled across the country and played a decent game against the 49ers. They came away with an exciting win. Instead of being happy for the home team, Philly sports writer Bob Ford wrote one of the most depressing articles about a win I've ever read. Chill out, dude! Your team won with your back-up franchise quarterback, who took the place of your redemption project quarterback who will never start, who took the place of your new franchise quarterback who wasn't all that good to begin with, who took the place of your old franchise quarterback who just whooped your team last week. Hmm. Maybe Ford has a point.
The ones I really love are the national pundits who change an opinion faster than I can change channels. For guys like Phil Simms, whoever is winning is the best team in football (I told you they were great!) unitl the other team pulls ahead (you know, their defense has some pretty big holes!) Romo and the 'Boys manage not to suck for one week and beat the Texans. Woohoo! We always knew Romo was that elite quarterback Jerry Jones promised he would be! Next week, CLANG! Romo falls back to Earth. (Speaking of Jerry J., was it way too much plastic surgery that gave his face that freaky, Joan Rivers look? I'd be afraid to let him near a tailgate party grill for fear his cheeks would melt off.) The Titans and Falcons put together some very good games and the TV genuises talk about them like they are the best teams on the planet. Why is it they never mention that both teams are only very good when not playing teams called Steelers? It was a smidge gratifying not to have to hear all that Chris Johnson 2500 yard season crap anymore. And to think, all it took was a 34 yard day of running into a guy named Timmons. CJ can still make his goal but he has to run for 387.3 yards per game to it.
Sadly, I continually bounce from station to station during the pregame shows to tune out, rather than tune in. I am still trying to figure the need to fill the opinionated ass slot for each of these shows. Do we really need football versions of Bill O'Reilly on every network? I have to flip channels every time those two tools, Irvin and Sapp, start yabbering on NFL Network. Prior to the Tampa Bay game, both were talking about how easy it would be to beat the Steelers D. "Just push them off the ball." "You can move the ball on the Steelers." I thought these guys were loud mouthed jerks when they were playing. And someone thought giving them a national pulpit was a good thing? ESPN: Keyshawn. CBS: Shannon. (though he is very knowledgeable, he bugs the crap out of me!) Fox: Terry. (Yeah, I know it is sacrilege but, sometimes, the guy just won’t shut up!) NBC: Is Keith Oberman still on? What an arrogant ass he is. I stopped watching because of him. NFL Network had to one-up the competion by putting two mouths next to each other. Can we please go back to Woodson and Terrel Davis arguing while Rich Eisen played the straight man?
All right, enough whining, back to football! MiniVan Gundy posted a great bit in preparation for the Steelers/Browns game this weekend:
I fully expect the Steelers to win easily. In fact, I expect every Pittsburgh receiver to catch at least one touchdown and Rushhard to set seven or eight rushing records. I conservatively estimate that the Big Doof will throw for 1409 yards, give or take. I heard a rumor that the NFL was instituting a Mercy Rule for this game. By the end of the second quarter, Woodley will be replaced by the beer vendor. Ike gets pulled in favor of the Sno-Cone guy (who actually snags two interceptions.) Polamalu has to walk on his hands and the line has to play without shoelaces. And we have to play with one of their crappy quarterbacks. That should even it up.
If we lose this game, I am SO toast!
By the way, congrats to the Penguins for laying an absolute slobberknocker on the Broad Street Bullies! Sid is the Man!
Before I begin, I have to state that I am a proud homer. I believe the Steelers are the best team in football, the Penguins are the best team in hockey and the Pirates are a team in baseball. I will defend the Big Doof until he either makes the Hall of Fame or is charged with something. In the first case, he would no longer need me coming to his defense. In the latter case, I would be happy to introduce him to his new friends on D Block. Even with my homerism, I thought this was really funny:
We all know that a basic homer is someone who really, and I mean really loves his or her sports team. Think Penn State fans or, inexplicably, Browns fans. Homers love their teams for better or for worse. In the case of Browns fans, for worser or for worst. Penn State gets absolutely lambasted by a good team. The next week they beat up on East Mumford Typing Academy and everyone talks about how the boys have turned a corner. This is the year Joepa gets another national title...until the Nittany Lions get their butts kicked again.
We see a lot of homerliness in the team blogs, naturally, and in the local news. I guess this is normal though, like in everything else, Philadelphia breaks the mold. Their homers kvetch at every opportunity. This past weekend, the Eagles travelled across the country and played a decent game against the 49ers. They came away with an exciting win. Instead of being happy for the home team, Philly sports writer Bob Ford wrote one of the most depressing articles about a win I've ever read. Chill out, dude! Your team won with your back-up franchise quarterback, who took the place of your redemption project quarterback who will never start, who took the place of your new franchise quarterback who wasn't all that good to begin with, who took the place of your old franchise quarterback who just whooped your team last week. Hmm. Maybe Ford has a point.
The ones I really love are the national pundits who change an opinion faster than I can change channels. For guys like Phil Simms, whoever is winning is the best team in football (I told you they were great!) unitl the other team pulls ahead (you know, their defense has some pretty big holes!) Romo and the 'Boys manage not to suck for one week and beat the Texans. Woohoo! We always knew Romo was that elite quarterback Jerry Jones promised he would be! Next week, CLANG! Romo falls back to Earth. (Speaking of Jerry J., was it way too much plastic surgery that gave his face that freaky, Joan Rivers look? I'd be afraid to let him near a tailgate party grill for fear his cheeks would melt off.) The Titans and Falcons put together some very good games and the TV genuises talk about them like they are the best teams on the planet. Why is it they never mention that both teams are only very good when not playing teams called Steelers? It was a smidge gratifying not to have to hear all that Chris Johnson 2500 yard season crap anymore. And to think, all it took was a 34 yard day of running into a guy named Timmons. CJ can still make his goal but he has to run for 387.3 yards per game to it.
Sadly, I continually bounce from station to station during the pregame shows to tune out, rather than tune in. I am still trying to figure the need to fill the opinionated ass slot for each of these shows. Do we really need football versions of Bill O'Reilly on every network? I have to flip channels every time those two tools, Irvin and Sapp, start yabbering on NFL Network. Prior to the Tampa Bay game, both were talking about how easy it would be to beat the Steelers D. "Just push them off the ball." "You can move the ball on the Steelers." I thought these guys were loud mouthed jerks when they were playing. And someone thought giving them a national pulpit was a good thing? ESPN: Keyshawn. CBS: Shannon. (though he is very knowledgeable, he bugs the crap out of me!) Fox: Terry. (Yeah, I know it is sacrilege but, sometimes, the guy just won’t shut up!) NBC: Is Keith Oberman still on? What an arrogant ass he is. I stopped watching because of him. NFL Network had to one-up the competion by putting two mouths next to each other. Can we please go back to Woodson and Terrel Davis arguing while Rich Eisen played the straight man?
All right, enough whining, back to football! MiniVan Gundy posted a great bit in preparation for the Steelers/Browns game this weekend:
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| Colt McCoy Obituary |
If we lose this game, I am SO toast!
By the way, congrats to the Penguins for laying an absolute slobberknocker on the Broad Street Bullies! Sid is the Man!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Et tu, Ed?
Verily, TMQ, I have angered the Football gods
So, tell me, what was my downfall? Was it the fact that I used a cheesy George McFly picture? Was it the fact that I brought it up at all? All I did was predict that the Steelers would be undefeated and win the Super Bowl. The football gods chortled to themselves at the end of the game. I can just see them. "Hey, Phil, that Devlin guy just called for an undefeated Steelers season! Ha!" "Oh, cool, Sid! Let's make them get beat. By Baltimore. In Pittsburgh. Last minute catch in the endzone by Houshmazillie! That'll really rub it in!" (Right. Even the football gods can't spell Housyourmama.) "Oh, wait, Phil, let's give that jagoff, Ray Lewis, an interception to end the game!" Hardy har har, football gods. You got me. Can you please back off now? Go mess with the Jets. What a bunch of cocky slugs they are!
So, tell me, what was my downfall? Was it the fact that I used a cheesy George McFly picture? Was it the fact that I brought it up at all? All I did was predict that the Steelers would be undefeated and win the Super Bowl. The football gods chortled to themselves at the end of the game. I can just see them. "Hey, Phil, that Devlin guy just called for an undefeated Steelers season! Ha!" "Oh, cool, Sid! Let's make them get beat. By Baltimore. In Pittsburgh. Last minute catch in the endzone by Houshmazillie! That'll really rub it in!" (Right. Even the football gods can't spell Housyourmama.) "Oh, wait, Phil, let's give that jagoff, Ray Lewis, an interception to end the game!" Hardy har har, football gods. You got me. Can you please back off now? Go mess with the Jets. What a bunch of cocky slugs they are!
And you want to know who really let me down? The offensive line? No. They just couldn't get us a DAMN FIRST DOWN!!! Jeff Reed? No. He might have made one of those two kicks if the offensive line could have gotten us a DAMN FIRST DOWN!!! Charlie Batch? No. He was fine. Except when he ran into Flozell, who was busy not getting us a DAMN FIRST DOWN!!! No, I am saving all my angst for Ed Hoculi. I thought Mr. Big Guns was the man. I thought he was for truth, justice and the Black and Gold. I am not saying that the game was poorly officiated or that the officiating cost us the game. Our inability to get a DAMN FIRST DOWN!!! cost us the game. But why, in the wide, wide world of sports, was Michael Oher allowed to false start on every play? Was Ed thinking, "Dude, you have to go against Harrison. He's going to hand you your butt unless I even things up" or maybe "I wonder if he can introduce me to Sandra Bullock." Whatever the case, the Blind Side extended to the refs where that guy was concerned. I would pay good money to see some poor schlub have to block Deebo without an assist.
Hmmm......a referee conspiracy?
Or did I get a penalty for giving him the business?
Or did I get a penalty for giving him the business?
One of the things that really bugged me the past couple weeks is how niceness seems to be busting out all over. The Big Doof and our man, Ray, are texting each other for support. How nice. Potsie and Ray Ray are actually buds. Wonderful. T-Ocho are holding hands and being such good friends and everything is fine in Cincy. We really respect the Ravens cause they are such a fine, fine football team. Oh, yack! Are you people serious? Are you so afraid of leaving bulletin board material that you have to make up crap about a city and a team we hate? With the recent trend of bringing back old Steelers, can we please bring back Joey Porter? Can we get one guy in the NFL to call a scumbag a scumbag? Say what you want about Joey. The man talked smack then backed it up. I have a lot of respect for the guy.
I guess it is left to the fans. There is no way on God's green earth that I will give in. Ask me if there is anything good about Baltimore and I will tell you that I like the Inner Harbor. You can see all the boats and the water and don't have to look at the city. I'm okay with that. What good can we say about Cleveland. Um. Um. Nope, sorry, drawing a blank. I used to love the t-shirt that said, "The only sign of intelligent life in Cleveland:" and it had a picture of a highway sign with "Pittsburgh - 60 miles." In Cincinnati, they are still waiting for Carson Palmer to arrive. Yep, this is his year! Oops, wait, no, it's THIS year. I mean, this is the year. How long will this go on?
Actually, there was a great story out of Baltimore a few days ago. Remember when the Steelers released Byron Leftwich to free a roster spot for the weekend, then signed him again on Monday? The Rat Birds tried to do the same thing with Trevor Price. After he got cut, he drove north and signed with the Jets. How pathetic does your team have to be when players are defecting to other teams? I can see it now: road games will be like Russian cultural exchanges. Some big woman in a babushka, sitting on the team bus to keep players from escaping. Maybe a Checkpoint Charlie on the Jersey Turnpike for player exchange. Where will it end?
"Please to be taking your seat, Todd.
You cannot go play for the Vikings."
Honestly, I have a hard time busting on Cleveland and Cincy. There are only so many insults you can heap before it becomes old hat. It's just too easy and I end up feeling like the guy who picks on the goofy kid with glasses. As much as I hate them, the Ravens are a decent team (who get really lucky, now and then, and beat us.) They have some self respect so it is a fair exchange. Steeler fans are left with the option of picking on the Browns and the Clowns or go outside the division. Our choices are to go old school and hate teams who used to be in our division, like the Titans; hate the teams who dissed the Towel, like the Titans; or hate teams who just tick us off, like the Titans. We can hate on teams who passed on Ben, like the Chargers and the Giants; or teams with crappy, overrated quarterbacks, like the Chargers and the Giants; or teams who just tick us off, like the Chargers and the Giants. We can hate on teams who jump ahead of us in the draft to take Revis, like the Jets; or teams filled with snotty, obnoxious ex-Ravens, like the Jets; or teams who just tick us off, like the Jets.
You cannot go play for the Vikings."
Honestly, I have a hard time busting on Cleveland and Cincy. There are only so many insults you can heap before it becomes old hat. It's just too easy and I end up feeling like the guy who picks on the goofy kid with glasses. As much as I hate them, the Ravens are a decent team (who get really lucky, now and then, and beat us.) They have some self respect so it is a fair exchange. Steeler fans are left with the option of picking on the Browns and the Clowns or go outside the division. Our choices are to go old school and hate teams who used to be in our division, like the Titans; hate the teams who dissed the Towel, like the Titans; or hate teams who just tick us off, like the Titans. We can hate on teams who passed on Ben, like the Chargers and the Giants; or teams with crappy, overrated quarterbacks, like the Chargers and the Giants; or teams who just tick us off, like the Chargers and the Giants. We can hate on teams who jump ahead of us in the draft to take Revis, like the Jets; or teams filled with snotty, obnoxious ex-Ravens, like the Jets; or teams who just tick us off, like the Jets.
You might notice a pattern. There is a reason I don't play fantasy football. It is very hard to field a team that consists only of Steelers, former Steelers who still speak well of the Burgh and players from the few teams who haven't ticked me off. Yet.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Put Me In, Coach. I'm Ready To Play!
I love the team first attitude. Take James Harrison's recent comments about how the defensive players would die for Coach LeBeau and Troy Polamalu's belief that he is more lucky than good. Fans of lesser teams (meaning all of them) call this false modesty but the Steelers sound sincere to me. Aren't they just like a normal family? You have the goofy brother, who always has the big smile, no matter how hard you hit him. Over there, you have the nine or ten guys who will stick up for you in a fight and that one really scary dude that no one wants to piss off. Here, you have the big doof of a little brother, who is always doing something stupid and you just want to staple that motorcycle helmet on his head and tell him to stay the hell out of college bars. You have a bunch of guys who could retire or second stringers who could start for another team but they stay for the family. This is the reason I am a Steelers fan.
Other teams make that kind of noise, but you believe it in Pittsburgh. You will notice that our players all talk about taking it "one game at a time" and "concentrating on next week's opponent." That kind of humility works. For players. Fortunately, I am a fan and not subject to rules of humilty. In fact, being a fan gives me the right to be wildly enthusiastic. For Steeler fans, a bad season is one where we do not win the Super Bowl. Forget those 13 and 3 seasons, baby. Show me the Lombardi. This year, I am more wildly enthusiastic than normal, and that is saying something. I am already counting down our magic number. Usually, I am satisfied with eleven wins and a playoff berth. If that were the case, our magic number would be eight. Eight wins and/or Bungles/Rat Bird losses and we are in the post season.
This year, though, I am taking a tip from Coach Tomlin. I am cheering with intensity. Ladies and gentlemen, our magic number is 16. As freaky good as the defense is playing and with an offense that has something to prove, this is our undefeated season. Why not us? The Patriots tried to go undefeated but couldn't hang. The Colts looked like they were trying but wimped out in the end. That leaves it up to us. It is time for a real team to give it a shot. I'm going all "George McFly" this season:
"Undefeated season, you are my density."
Coach has the team all fired up so why can't this be our year? After the press conference where Tomlin melted down about the premature rumors of the Steeler's death, I read an interview with James Farrior. He said that Coach Tomlin was taking out his anger on the team so the team was taking it out on the rest of the league. That's the right attitude. Play on the grass where the blood stains don't show. The fans are doing their part, too, making Raymond James a home stadium for the day. That had to be one outrageous show, even with the humidity. To give you an idea of how bad it gets in Tampa, I was there a few weeks ago. On the flight home, the airline had the AC jacked up so high to combat the humidity, we walked through a cloud to get to our seats. See for yourself:
I work in DC and have to be around fans of all kinds of crappy teams on a regular basis. Fortunately, there are plenty of Steelers fans to even things out. Needless to say, my talk of an undefeated season, three games in, does not play well. Redskins fans do not bother with me. They have their own troubles. Cowboys fans are still a few wins away from reverting to their normal, overbearing selves. The fun ones are the few Ravens fans, who seem like otherwise normal people, despite their brain defects. They do not think the Steelers will survive the week, let alone the season. Ha, I say! They dream of their single moment in the sun, when they lucked into winning a Super Bowl. One even said we will need a quarterback to win another Super Bowl. Ummm...Trent Dilfer? Hello? I would take the Statue of Leftwich over Dilfer any old day! With Batch at the helm, I am not worried.
I do not expect the Steelers to lose in the next few years. If the unthinkable happens and the Ravens actually beat us, next Monday will be a smidge uncomfortable. Not that it will happen, though. In fact, I am planning to bring back the Playoff Beard around Week 10 or 11. Nothing can stop us now!
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