Hibernating, 9 June 2010

This is the worst time of the sports year: the in between seasons time when your team is sitting at home, watching some crappy team play the Blackhawks for the Cup. Man, I hate that! The Steelers are still hanging out at OTAs (Offseason Time is Awful) and being pretty boring though, with our doofus quarterback, boring is okay. The Bucs are, well, the Bucs. The other day, they got beat by a 12 year old kid on the Nationals. I heard he struck out everyone on the Pirates, the snow cone guy, three Bud Light vendors, a parking lot attendant and seven of his own players. Sheesh! When will our baseball pain end? As for hockey, the big event in the Burgh is the Student Flush at the new Consol Center to test the toilets in the Pen's new home. Be sure to catch the highlights tomorrow on Sports Center. Sad as it sounds, you know they will cover it.

So, anyway, offseason is not fun. How do people talk smack in the days of no sport? Office chair races? "I can staple faster than you" races? Sadly, there is no firing range at the Pentagon so marksmanship (and dueling) are out. Arrrrrggggggghh! Hurry up, football!

My favorite tradition of championship sports, aside from the obvious one of Pittsburgh players hoisting whatever trophy, is the bet between the local politicians. The mayors and governors of the respective cities and states in the champoinship pony up whatever their big specialties if their teams lose. The losing politician has to deliver the delicious food to a soup kitchen in the winning city. The mark of a really cool politician (Come on! There has to be at least one!) is standing in line to help serve the food he or she just delivered. When the Steelers played the Seahawks a few years ago, we bet pierogies and Primanti's, while they put up foie gras and pooftyburgers or something like that.

I used to get a little angry about the custom. Our tax dollars were subsidizing a stupid public relations stunt. Then I realized that we subsidize things much more stupid than this: the weaponization of the frisbee; bailouts for arrogant jerks; performance art; critical junkets to Barbados; on and on. At least with sports, some less fortunate people get a decent meal.

This has to be the only good thing about the current Stanley Cup match up: pizza vs. cheesesteak. Man, I am salivating, just thinking about it. A hot cheesesteak would taste pretty good right now! Go, Blackhawks!